LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND

garth ennis & darick robertson's
THE BOYS

i don't think i've ever read a full issue of the punisher. for a long time, i dismissed the preacher as a silly, sensational, shock value abusing wank fest. thankfully, i gave it a chance and discovered that i don't actually mind garth ennis as much as i thought i did. in fact, i kind of enjoy his brand of give-the-people-what-they-want filth, dysfunction, absurd & brutal violence served over a bed of interesting, lovingly shat out characters. when i spotted transmet artist darick robertson's unforgettable style on a cover of a book entitled "HEROGASM" at my LCS, i was immediately interested. i can't recall having heard of this series before this point and i suspect i would remember if i had. a team of anti-heroes, taking on the corrupt, capitalistic, perverse and misanthropic superhero masses? not only is THE BOYS a genuinely fun read- hilarious and absolutely sick, violent and even kind of, like... emotionally uh touching and shit- it's also a fantastic Raping of the superhero genre as a whole. i'm not into marvel comics. i could give two tight fucks for the Justice League of America. the only super-characters i've ever cared for are Batman and Dr. Doom and one could argue those dudes are just insanely ambitious, mentally twisted, scarred-since-childhood, normal dudes. and for this reason, i find it endlessly entertaining to see an author so clearly satirize the genre and present it as a thoroughly fucked up world of celebrity, conspiracy, betrayal, abuse of power, appalling sexual behaviours and a violent, perfasive apathy towards human life. all that matters for supes is the money and the fame. and, you know, raping, killing, closet homosexuality, peeing on hookers and drugs. all that matters for the boys is crushing skulls and putting an end to the menace that's supposed to be saving the world.

can't wait til HEROGASM tpb comes out next month. yippie!

my absolute very much favourite thing to prepare and eat. i have experimented exstensively with crafting the perfect lasagna this year and have come to several conclusions.

firstly- i don't actually like red pepper in lasagna. or eggplant. or shitake mushrooms.

it seemed so tempting at first - a grilled veggie lasagna. abandoning disgusting ground beef for a cornucopia of delicious, tender vegetables. at first i tried roasting red peppers and removing the skin, layer them with huge sauteed zucchini medallions and thinly sliced garlic roasted shitakes and fresh spinach. this attempt was a mess: i completely overlooked excessive moisture as a factor and ended up with more of a baked soup than a nice, firm, hunk o' food. the taste was alright but the dish had no shape and little power- too watery. so next time, i attempted to chop up some peppers and throw them in with the sauce. i ditched the shitakes - they're too tough and rubbery (and have this weird taste that makes me feel vaguely nauseous!!!) when they're not marinated properly and seemed like a bit of a misguided effort. i'm content with plain ol' button mushrooms, perhaps a bit of portabello for fun. so, sauteeing peppers and mushrooms with onions and garlic, maybe some zucchini. the result is less watery, to be sure, but there's still this weird taste that i don't particularily care for. i am left to deduce it is the peppers. i'm not sure why but i just can't enjoy red peppers in lasagna. they just take over the show and fuck up the sublime balance between sweet, basilly tomato sauce and delicious garlicy cheese. as time progresses, i find myself forgoing many other vegetetables that might somehow alter the taste, moisture content or texture in their own little way. mushrooms, onion, garlic spinach and, when they can be found young and firm in the produce section, zuchinni make me wet.

secondly- vegetarian lasagna is better with veggie ground round.

i have a really concrete structure for my lasagan these days. i've messed around, tried things out and i've settled into a formula that makes me pretty happy. it's simple, easy to handle and produces uniformly wonderful results. i have two pans: one for tomato sauce and one for ricotta. i sautee half an onion in each simultaneously. in the tomato sauce pan, i brown a pound of veggie ground. i like my veggie ground crispy before i add any liquid so i leave it in their for a while. while it's browning, i add brown sugar, basil, oregano, sea salt, fresh pepper and a tiny bit of roasted garlic and cayenne pepper. i cheat biiiig time and use sauce out of jars. i have tried making sauce from scratch and yes, it can be fun but it's generally a big waste of time and money. most jarred sauces can be souped up to whatever specifications and cost less than their freshly assembled counterparts (-in my experience, maybe because too often i try to make sauce from three different kinds of fucking tomatos like a complete twat). i feel that veggie ground gives sauce thickness and a chunky savory deliciousness that is not to be missed. it lends this chewy and crispy, flavourful element that really pumps a lasagna up. i like that. without it, lasagna feels kind of flat and limp. all the ricotta and eggplant in the world couldn't change that.

thirdly- i am too fucking lazy to use NON-oven ready lasagna noodles and i will regret and lament my own sad, desperate foolishness every time.

maybe it's because my oven kind of suckles on and blows dangling, horsey balls (in that only the top element produces any heat at all.) but i can never, ever, no matter how long i leave it, get my allegedly "OVER-READY" noodles to get any less firm than a doped up pedo in the kids department at the bay. they are always just slightly, barely, stiff; not enough to ruin the experience but just enough to make me curse my own distaste for boiling lasagna noodles. seriously, i have to bake that shit for a fucking hour and a half. fucking oven. so yeah. don't be like me, boil yr noodles. use the spinach ones, they look pretty!

fourthly- it's probably better to use fresh spinach in your ricotta. i think?

i think i once used frozen spinach. some time ago. in a different life. i used it at work once. it looked kinda gross. it made the ricotta green. also, i had to fucking squeeze the gross, slimey shit dry. urgh. that recipe also called for egg to be added to the ricotta. i'm... glad i didn't have to eat it. i like using lots of freshly grated mozzarella to bring my ricotta mixture together. yummy.
i prefer using fresh spinach because it has a nicer texture once cooked and the colour doesn't bleed. also, i find it's pretty easy to evaporate most of the moisture through prolonged cooking. i use fresh baby spinach. i don't even chop it. it's lovely.

finally- the more kinds of cheese, the better

no, really. no less than 6 kinds of cheese. veganomicon has a recipe for vegan lasagna that uses a 'ricotta-like' tofu mixture. i still don't really understand how nutritional yeast is supposed to taste like cheese. eggs, milk - they gross me out, whatever. but for some reason, when that milk becomes a big solidified, fermented or moldy chunk or a curdled slop, i'm all in. why? i don't know. 6 cheeses. do it.

this fucking release is killing me, i did not expect it to get so awesome after the unfortunate dupstep incident in the first track.




the gas lamp killer - hell and the lake of fire are waiting for YOU!

my cat keeps stepping on my caps lock. oh you!

i wish i'd gotten to say goodbye. you were so beautiful, man. i hope they have cool shit for you to do whereever you are now. i'll never forget you. you touched so many people, they'll all remember what a fun-loving, friendly guy you were. past tense fucking sucks.
i love you petey, i hope the music is good and danceable in the afterlife. <3



you went fucking hard, man.

ahhh nintendo is owning me hardcore with bowser's inside story. their piracy protection is so effective that no amount of patching or action replay code input can overcome it. the game freezes after every save and after most key bosses/leveling up. the only way to prevent the freezing is to bash a repeatedly and choose certain traits to assign points to, the selection of which is made through trial and error. i've been able to get by for a while with just restarting from save every so often, not entirely bad, but i think i'm totally fucked now. there's this insanely rad part where mario and luigi play space invaders inside bowser's 'rump command' causing bowser to grow to be the size of his own castle and uh then he fights it. the ds turns vertically and you attack with the stylus. it's pretty fucking neat and i enjoy it thoroughly. everytime i finish the battle, bowser levels up and gains a rank which inevitably results in the game freezing at the next black screen. i don't see anyway around it, this fucking sucks. i may actually have to buy this game. shock, horror!

this especially kind of blows because as far as i know, there won't be any way to play the .sav i've already started on the game cartridge. no big deal i guess, this game is pretty fun and it wouldn't completely suck to start from the beginning again but damn. damn you nintendo. this game is so fucking fun. i can't believe the variety in action. okay poopootron won't stop standing in front of the screen now, i must go cuddle with her and ajhjjjj my dreadlocks ahhhh stop attacking them ahhhhh

World Builder from BranitVFX on Vimeo.

i cried like a child.

granted, one cannot actually see out of these. this could be an issue. but they are totally necessary to make a killer promethea costume.




or



cantdecide. maybeit's time to shave half my head

"I honestly believe they're ugly. They look like something jungle-bunnys from Africa would wear. They appear evil to me."

"They look awful to me... I don't know why they just look like they smell bad."

"If you have any questions about the attractiveness of dreadlocks, try and get a decent job. And not an $8. an hr. job at "Hot Topics". And all that dope you have to smoke to get them. You'd never want a legitimate job. Unless you think dealing drugs is a good living for all of maybe three years and then it's off to jail where you will meet your new love, a three hundred pound butcher, who if male or female is called Bubba."

"No, they make me think of a sheep poking its nose through a hedge"

"they are unatracttive even if you had mind controll powers hipnotized somebody to tell you your dreadlocks are cool at a party you went up to them asked them what they think of your dreadlocks they would still say disgusting right infront of everyone"

"no i think it looks better on a guy than a girls no homo because dreadslocks is not a attractive hair style to me . dreads just seems like a mascalent hair style"


do you think dreads are attractive?

i must figure out some way of incorporating dreadlocks into my award winning comic con costume.


edit: oh it's so fucking obvious!!! why didn't i think of it before?????



promethea!

this comes out soon!




yay!

all my stuff is almost moved in! yay! this time i mean it! no more moving!

wow bowser's inside story comes out the day before scribblenauts! heck yes fall!





oh excitement!


oh my goodness poopootron is the nicest kitty ever ahhh this is so fucking inane yay!

ps.

why is it so difficult to find volume 3 of alan moore's swamp thing? this series is so fucking excellent and the only trade i am missing is three. why? why!
love and death is such an insanely excellent run. everything about it is so perfect. it's so creepy and beautiful and captivating and brilliant and i want to wrap it up in soft fur and pet it gently and whisper silly things to it.

t= teaspoon
T= tablespoon

the only time i ever make exact measurements is when baking. science 'n shit.

for dinner:

creamy potato soup!
( recipe under cut )

c's hurr! salad
( recipe under cut )

again, all measurements are approximations. it's really best to just start out with a little bit and add more according to your expectations. it's so fucking important to understand the flavours you're combining well enough to judge your impressions and adjust accordingly. it makes food preparation so much easier.

oh yeah and

banana berry blitz muffins!
( recipe under cut )
i like food. !!!

tomorrow maybe i post my peanut butter and jelly muffin recipe. those bitches is tasty!

as if there are roms available for this already!!!



professor layton and the curious village is a totally addicting puzzle game for ds. apparently there are four games from this series available in japan. north american release of the second delightfully consuming game came today, monday the 24th. thank you noble pirates for being there for me when i really need you. dude japan gets all the cool shit. there are so many insane horror ds games yet to be translated. i bet joker's awesome gun shot FATALITY isn't censored there. bummer. or in europe at least. aaaah.




extra joker challenge level downloaded from psn already. cooome on tomorrow!! baaaatman!!!

also, infamous is getting fucking rough. stop throwing huge hunks of car and shrapnel and fireballs at me aaahhhh

it is too warm in here. come home alwasy to open radiators, closed windows. how? i wish greatly to linger on silky sheets and dream more about richard brautigan explicit sex.
i fuck the world for a cup of coffee.

i need a drum machine pretty badly. also, an enema. burning, burning, flames on the side of my face. it's all clear.

spire top between the tree broughs each one goes a different way my desire, preteens in pee troughs creature feature, rose marmalade it's a blast, just ask the preacher discourse from distance, disposessed i'm rash, contrast, too trashed to meet you what's worse, my fist, your face, impressed dollar sign glasses on green tinted face wait for molasses to quicken their pace nothing ever changes 'cept the song and the place yours or mine baby? my waltz is the chase

i am not very good at cello, it is very hard! i would like to get better maybe. i am also not very good at getting enough sleep. i wish there were more hours, i need to figure out a way to make money without having to go to work, sell drugs or break laws. hmm!

i am alright at laughing, i do that real good. i am alright at being awkward and uncertain. i am alright at mediocrity and deviant thoughts. my confusion, my concession, my contraband.



piano noises

blazing blizzard
eyes of a lizard and elephant tongue
born of the moon, return to the sun
time to deliver, cantos, the forgiven, the prodigal son
company loathes misery
loads of fizzzzling pots, undone
they dizzy me, frozen
i call the shots
this one's named 'RUN!'
i could remain unchosen if this was the one
but disposing of remains is much more fun
so i'll keep on

the faster i move, the longer the day
blocking the route, a conga line strays to the beat
of a broken bread machine
sneaky, speaking in riddles like how do i sleep?
dream of a lost phrase, one i'm afraid to repeat
two - a page of scribbled treats
twenty - my last chance at a natural creep
my speech is staggered, static, noise
a haggard, dead dive beach, a dusty attic, littered with toys
turning the key, cymbals that punctuate my freakish ideas
through the window i see children and trees
reaching for the sky, growing roots, expanding territory

i might look down soon
examine my knees
i have a name that sounds like 'goosey'
black light ready water

what does it mean?

i need cheering up. 2am wake up ritual: try and shake off horrifying dream. put on kettle for tremendously strong cup of instant coffee. urinate. fix coffee, light cigarette. microwave oatmeal. check email. assemble clothes for work. discover oats are rolled, not quick. microwave more. realize must leave in 10 minutes. update livejournal. get dressed. eat two spoons of oatmeal, leave.

i want something else.

i didn't know it was in your power.

hate moving
hate moving
hate moving
will chain smoke for as long as possible, fuck packing, fuck packing, fuck packing.
type too fast, this is not turning out to be an effective means of delaying my inevitable obligation to gtfo of here.
wanna be a drifter, fuck these stupid objects.
wish these boxes of books didn't weigh so much.
i really like being alive, it's great.
that isn't sarcasm!

dishevelled
half empty bottle on the window ledge, the dresser
i fucked up my plant, marta, toppling the venetian blinds
now she won't stand straight.
i look like a high school sports star
black and red, black and red,
i can hardly breath through the rising water
matching corpses, dead end daughter

oh my toad fucking lizard lord. that was an amazing fucking meal. cooking for just myself is so deadly, i ate so much fucking shit. it's so good!

veggie burger w/ cheese, two kinds of mustard, banana pepper relish, two kinds of bbq sauce, tomato onion + veggie lover mix
&
tiny little adorable mushrooms sauted with diced white onion and garlic, covered in creamy beaten eggs and smothered in cheese, baked to perfection

i am going to diiiie
man that was so good now i will enjoy a fine raspberry cigarillo
thank you livejournal, you have been a good friend!

the best dumb job yet became mine today! thank god i don't have to do completely meaningless shit work that makes me feel like killing myself anymore! some of my coworkers are amusing and real and we actually interact sometimes! holy fucking shit!

all around the fireplace
listen to the pop
of the wood, on which the fire plays
and takes it from the top

a lot is lost to saturdays
don't stop! had you forgot?
you always liked it anyways
at least, or so i thought

we'll wait for her at centerplace
she likes it when it's hot
but if she fails to show her face
debased, we'll waste the lot